Seleni Spotlight: Our Expectant Moms Group with Ingrid Nkongho, PsyD

November 2020 - Ingrid Nkongho, PsyD, is highly experienced in assisting patients with a variety of mental health challenges, including life transitions, anxiety, depression, mood disorders, and complex trauma. Dr. Nkongho leverages a combination of theory-informed psychoanalysis, mindfulness, and cognitive behavioral therapy to assist her patients.

Starting this month, she will lead our new Expectant Moms Group on Fridays. In this group, expectant moms will receive guidance, share experiences, and connect with other expectant moms.

In the Q&A below, Dr. Nkongho shares more about this new Seleni support group:

Why is Seleni launching an Expectant Moms group?

There is a lot of focus on the postpartum period, but not as much on the period before having a baby, which is be a huge developmental moment in the life of a woman. There are physical and emotional changes happening week to week that may be puzzling and uncomfortable. For some women, the realization that she is expecting is experienced as joyful, while for others it can feel overwhelming and stressful. It was from this need to address these changes occurring in the expectant mom that we decided to offer the group. When the pandemic began, it became increasingly more apparent that there was a need to provide support for expectant moms who may be dealing with these challenges in isolation. It is our hope that the group will allow expectant moms to connect with others, address their topics of concern, and to feel more supported. 

What are the topic areas the group will address? 

The group will be an open format for expectant moms to get support around topics of concern during pregnancy. Examples of topics include feelings about being pregnant, recognizing PMADS, the importance of self-care, and what to expect during and after pregnancy.

What effects does the pandemic have on the experience for expectant moms?

Normal pregnancy concerns may be magnified with the pandemic. The experience of expecting that may otherwise be shared in the company of friends and loved ones may not be, due to limitations on in-person contact. Many women worry that their loved ones will not be present for the birth of their baby. Also, worries about the well-being of the baby and the health of the mother may also be heightened with all of the uncertainty surrounding COVID. Under normal circumstances, pregnancy is a time of waiting and not knowing, and with the uncertainty around the pandemic and not knowing the future, anxiety may increase for some expectant moms.

I also hear some expectant moms express sadness that part of the pregnancy journey is missing. Modern rituals such as going to pick out a registry in-person, being able to take a prenatal class to meet other expectant moms, or having a baby shower may not be possible. There is a sense of not having access to the complete experience that some women express feeling very sad about, and that they are missing out on. Expecting during the pandemic poses challenges to one’s expectations for the experience that now must be faced during a period of increased vulnerability.

How can expectant moms practice self-care?

Be gentle on yourself! With so much going on inside and outside of the body, and so much going on in the world, it is more important than ever for expectant moms to be mindful of taking care themselves. It’s important to make sure that basic needs are being met – eating well, resting, getting some movement in, and making time for things that are enjoyable. Also, it’s important to ask for help if something doesn’t feel quite right whether that be physical or psychological.

Do you have any resource recommendations for expectant moms? 

Fortunately, there are many resources available online now so expectant moms can find many sources of support depending on what the needs are. I would recommend joining an expectant moms group, finding an online prenatal fitness class, checking with your local hospital/birthing center for courses to prepare for labor, newborn care, and breastfeeding. Find a local online mom forum (Facebook offers many) to identify specific resources within your community. If you are feeling overwhelmed, or find that worry or sadness is becoming a concern, consider individual therapy. Postpartum Support International has a large provider search tool to identify therapists and other resources for expectant moms nationally. There is help and support available, so don’t neglect caring for yourself.

What is your favorite thing about working with expectant moms?

I enjoy supporting expectant moms on their journey through pregnancy. Each week brings a new milestone that the expectant mom reaches and it very rewarding to witness. For some women, pregnancy is a time of elation and great expectations, for others it can feel overwhelming and daunting, and for some it can change week to week. No matter where an expectant mom is in her experience of pregnancy, I enjoy helping her to better understand herself, and to support and prepare for the next phase in her journey.

What should expectant moms “expect” from this group?

Expectant moms can expect to enter a safe space to share concerns, to normalize the thoughts and feelings about being pregnancy, to understand what to expect during pregnancy and how to care for oneself, and to connect with other expectant moms.

To learn more about our Expectant Moms Group, see here.

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