Seleni Spotlight: Coping With Holiday Stress

Nov. 16, 2022 – The holidays are usually a time when we attend parties, gather with friends and reconnect with family members. For many of us these events can trigger feelings of anxiety and grief, including reminders of what you feel may be missing from your life.

Know that you are not alone with these feelings. They are difficult and normal, and you can prepare for and minimize some of the uncomfortable situations that may occur. From unsolicited parenting advice to the sister-in-law who always seems to be pregnant, Seleni clinicians have tips for coping with stressors and taking care of yourself during the holidays. Check back here and on social media for more as we go through the season together.

We wish you a mentally healthy holiday season!

Exhale…all the way. We often hold onto our breath more than we realize, and that lingering CO2 will actually raise our stress levels. Box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) can help us remember to breathe from our diaphragms and let out all that we need to. 

Find moments of distraction on purpose. You don’t have to feel guilty knowing you are proactively getting some replenishment. Set a timer for 15 minutes and take a mental vacation. We all need breaks so we can return to both the demands and goals we all have for a happy holiday season! 

— Maggie Friedland Chi, LMSW

Prepare, don’t despair. We can't control what questions are asked of us, including triggering ones. It may be helpful to try to prepare some answers to the questions you anticipate and ways to change the topic. Establish an exit plan. To exit tricky situations, perhaps say “I have another event to attend," or identify a code word that informs your partner it’s time to leave.

Experience the holidays exactly the way you want. While the holidays tend to be steeped in tradition, if these traditions do not support you at this time you can change them. You can decide what events to attend, with whom, and for how long. Also, it’s okay to acknowledge that this is a difficult time for you. Don’t force yourself to be in spaces that are triggering – self-care is essential.

— Nneka Symister, LCSW